The thought of freedom conjures many thoughts to one's mind. Freedom in the aspect of choice. Freedom in the ability to love. Freedom in the process of living. Each of these freedoms feeding off the choices we make. Each choice bringing us closer to the freedom of our being.
You see, I've always thought freedom meant sacrifice. Now ,I know for a fact, it does.
In sacrificing your "freedom" you allow others to see their full potential.
At this point in my life, someone special has spun my head 180 degrees.
I wasn't ready for it. He, I think, still isn't ready for it.
Yet, it is as if my "freedom" has become my prison. My own personal prison in the aspect that I cannot separate my re-building of my life from the future I want with this someone special. I know I am being selfish, self centered, egotistical, and possesive. It doesn't matter to me.
Prison teaches you many things. The number one thing is to grasp ahold and never let go of what you want or love.
Perhaps it is to quick. Perhaps I am being reckless.
Maybe, just maybe..........I am right on target.
The unknowing of life's mysteries makes for a great play. A great book. A great poem.
It sucks for reality.
The reality of this situation is the "stigma" that I have attached to my own head. The "judgemental mentality" that I place upon myself. Granted, it is always going to be there, but I am slowly learning and realizing that I do deserve happiness.
I don't know why I am expressing all of this for the world to see, but I want everyone to know how I feel. I am tired of feeling as if I am doing something wrong. I am tired of feeling as if I should play by all the standard rules when it comes to relationships and love. How can humans ever live up to the standards we place on each other and one's self? I don't think it is possible.
The one possibility I do believe in, right now, is the possibility of chance. An eager, loving, "why not" chance for happiness.
I am ready for my life to go full "circle". I only pray I don't have to do it alone.
2 comments:
bobby R.
Freedom? Does anyone ever really have true freedom? Our own choices in life grant us the level of freedom each of us curently posses in our lives. No sacrific is necessary, just be content with yourself and the path that you are on, the one that you have choosen to re-build Bobby R, and the freedom you desire will be waiting for you. (Dorothy, just follow "your" yellow brick road, and I promise you will find your OZ.) Who knows, you may have already found it?!?!?!? *wink*
DON'T EVER THINK OF YOUR LIFE, YOUR DREAMS, YOUR DESIRES, YOUR WANTS, YOUR NEEDS (FREEDOM) as a prison. No longer do you have boundries, restrictions, limitations, You are now your "own" again, embrace it, enjoy it, share it.
If we knew where life was taking us, or knew our path before we turned the key, where would be the excitement, the nerve racking anticipation of what could be around the corner..
Someone special spun you 180 degrees huh, I bet you have a sore neck! lol just a little light humor on a heavy note...
Last thing Bobby R... One piece of advise... Follow your heart, your mind, your gut feelings. Although we are always second guessing our decisions, our choices, our pathes, it seems that if we just rely on our own inner-person, I promise everyone will always get to thier "OZ".
and remember.. in prison you might have to guard your food, your toothbrush, your memories, your LIFE. BUT guess what...You are no longer in prison, the walls , the bars, the restrictions on your mind / heart - their gone, and will never NEVER return. Spread your wings babe - fly!! I must say Bobby R. You talk as if this head spinning action effect is a bad thing, alot of people never get to exprerience "THE SPIN", so all i can say is I am excited for you.. EMBRACE these feelings, they are GOOD FEELINGS! Free hearted feelings.
Wow, i think i feel dizzy myself!!
Hey Monkey...
Walk your walk.. Talk your talk... YOU deserve it!!!!!
and you will be loved for you, by many...
I know i do... Love you!
XoXo
Yo-Yo
You are absolutely correct. The freedom I am experiencing is of my self. The freedom to love, live, and choose how I want and who I want.
Prison does make you hard. Hearted. I am thankful that your touch and your heart is melting my pain!
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