It has been quite a year. The time has passed so quickly. Life, ever changing, has yet to not amaze me.
As I lie in bed last night a strange thought came into my head. Forgiveness.
What a word. What a concept. We, as humans, have all but forgot this word in our vocabulary. The true meaning of this word. Every day we say "sorry" but not in the concept it was originally intended. True forgiveness means letting go and moving forward. Moving from the darkness of your own into the light that is/was always there. I am going to try to be better at it.
Uncle Edward gave me the book "The Shack" to read. It is an interesting read on the dynamics of religion and the world. Specifically set around a fictional, unfathomable incident between a daughter and her father and family. It is not a salacious book but one of thought provoking arguments in one's own head. It is an extremely simple, yet loving, look at the relationships of man, religion, and forgiveness. How in the process of evolution we have forgotten the basic ingredients that make forgiveness a thing of true beauty. I won't go into details about the book it is something that EVERYONE should read. Muslim, Catholic, Baptist, Atheist are all the same souls in the universe. Each group wanting the exact same thing. Each going about it the wrong way.
I must say that my head has been swimming since 10 pm last night. I tossed. I turned.
Could it really be that simple?
Can I simply forgive my Father for the hell he put our family through?
Can I simply forgive the teasing and taunting from others?
Can I simply forgive my family for their desertion in my darkest hour?
Can I simply forgive myself for all the pain I caused?
Can I simply forgive my Mother for passing too soon?
Can I simply forgive everything and start anew.
And the really simple answer is yes. Yes. Yes.
I awoke this morning with a few answers to my questions. I have forgiven myself. I have forgiven everyone. I have forgiven, truly forgiven in the quest to see the light of my life. As odd as this sounds coming from me, I truly have been given a second chance. I have been given the option to live successfully or to be a coward living a life of nothing.
In the last few months I have taken everything for granted. I have taken my fabulous life, my fabulous home, my fabulous friends, and my fabulous self for granted. I have been looking at the things closests to me as a liability. A liability that I thought was dragging me back into a world that I did not want to be. Completely wrong. It turns out it was a wonderful liability that had granted me permission to grow and become the man I am today.
Thanks to my "quick" interpretation of my life I have grown, YET again, in this crazy little thing called life. As much as it hurts to say this--Yes, another "Oprah" moment.
Keep forgiving in the correct way. Forgive, and yes, move forward. One can never forget but it is the strength to overcome the memory that true forgiveness is granted.
Holla.
