In my posting last night, I was distraught.

I was upset.

I was human.

Reflecting back on this wide 12 hours, I realize one thing.

At this time, exactly one year ago, I was locked in an 8 x 10 cell with another man whom I didn't even know. The picture is of Moberly Correctional Center.

I have line and a box to my housing unit.

2A.

Honor dorm.

My biggest thrill, on Saturday mornings, was the thought of walking the track for one hour and getting a bag of fresh popped popcorn.

The irony lies in the fact that I would kill for that feeling of "wanting" again.

The wanting of that damn popcorn.

The wanting and feeling of hope that one day I am out of prison.

The wanting of friends.

The wanting of a job.

The wanting of being able to take a shower without anyone watching or cruising me.

The simple pleasure of a cup of coffee with my flavored creamer.

The simple pleasure of a washer and dryer with the lovely smell of Downy.

The simple thought of fresh air without a razor wire separating me from the real world.

In essence........

I have gotten what I so, desperately, needed and hoped.

I refuse to have another bad feeling about my life.

I refuse to let someone or something dictate my daily dreams and aspirations.

I refuse to let "life" get to me in a negative way.

I refuse to go back to prison. Neither a prison of my mind or of steel.

As Oprah said in "the Color Purple"............."Sophia home, Sophia home"..................