Go figure.
It is my fucking blog.
I am trying not take things so personally when things are randomly said in jest. It is very hard. My life has been discussed, dissected, and reworked by everyone in my circle and outside my circle. Newcomers to my life. Old friends judging, yet again, my choices.
I know the comment that was made was in jest. Fine.
Another laugh at my expense. My calling in life.
NO pity here, just reality.
After the comment I went to a gathering of lesbians and gay men. I knew approximately 4 people upon arrival, and upon leaving I had met and connected with everyone.
Selfish? Perhaps.
Needy? Very.
Will it change? Never.
Upon leaving this gathering, it was to the usual watering hole. Boring. Excitement gone. Life drained.
I cannot and will not begin to understand how the life can so quickly be sucked from my soul. It was as if something from point B to point C drained me.
Age? Perhaps.
Boredom? Very.
Will it change? Never.
I am struggling, yet again, with the changes in my life. Constantly changing. Always exciting.
I spoke with a close friend of mine on Friday and many questions were barraged at my mind. I know it was meant well. I know it was from the pain of missing me.
Guess what? I am missing myself.
Stupid? Perhaps.
Upsetting? Very.
Is it going to continue? Never.
I am going to, yet again, restart the process of reclaiming my personality, my soul, and my light.
I will not apologize for being who I am.
I will not discuss it again.
I will not allow ANYONE to mock or make fun of progress.
Stay tuned IF IT IS NOT TOO BORING OR MUNDANE FOR YOU..........As the start of the blog says, if you don't want to read it, go somewhere else.
peace, love and bacon grease.
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