In the course of the last two months my life has been completely upheaved.
No endless work to fill the day.
No endless chatter to mark the passing of time.
In essence, NOTHING.
In my mind, idle hands are a curse.
Idle minds are even worse.
My mind is reverting back to the way it was years ago.
Cynical.
Paranoid.
Non-trusting.
Closing out those closest to me.
Looking for problems that aren't there.
Not believing in myself.
If my worth is to be measured by my impact on the world. I am screwed.
This is not a pity party.
Nor a cry for help.
It just had to be put in words for me to deal with it.
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