Won't stop........

gloomy.

The tears won't stop.

Loss. Pain. Extreme loss.................

I can't shake this feeling.
being ripped out.
ventricle by ventricle.......

fucking with my mind today.

birth.
mom.
grandma.
siblings.
high school.
ste. gen.
air force.
ste.gen.
prison.
re-birth.
death.

all things that have formed me.

For better or worse.

why do i still feel as if it was yesterday.
or better yet.

today..............

palms sweaty.
tears rolling.
cigarette burning.
music playing.
dogs watching this strong man being weak....................

home.
walls.
coffee...........

prison cell of memories.

life.
life.
life.
life.


refuge of my mother's arms.
refuge of my mother's love.
gone.

refuge of siblings laugh.
refuge of siblings support.
gone.

identity?
skewed.
scarred.
broken.

fresh air.
fresh attitude.

same feelings.......only masked.........hidden.